The end of a chapter

Kaitlyn is officially finished with her first year of school. She graduated Friday and today was the last day. The year flew by!

Being a December baby, I had my reservations about sending her. She turned 4 as half the class was about to turn 5. But I'm so glad we did. She came how with the most darling memory book of her journey. She learned so much, made so many friends, and had lots of fun. Worried she would be behind, I tried tirelessly to prepare her, but as hard as I worked, she wasn't learning from me. I quickly learned that she didn't need that preparation, the teachers were awesome and Kaitlyn was spelling and writing her own name within a few days. We're so proud of her.

I can't believe how fast the time goes. Our time with them really is short and one more chapter in Kaitlyn's life has come to a close. As much as we joyously anticipate all her milestones and enjoy watching her discover new things and learning about the world, I wish it didn't have to happen so soon. Life is so hectic. I go to bed every night with feelings of guilt, wondering if I spent enough time with the kids. The days just keep passing and I worry I'm missing out. But I also have to keep the place clean, wash dishes, cook, and do laundry. There just isn't enough time for it all.

I'm reminded of a time, Kaity had just turned 2, we were walking home from the diagnostics center, the girls needed bloodwork for their checkups. Their faces were still a little red and their eyes still had tears in them. But we came upon a group of hedges, these very large bushes when Kaity felt compelled to stop. She turned, gave them a hug, smiled, and ran off.

As the next chapter of Kaity's life begins (and Abby who is getting ready for Pre-K), I want to take full advantage of this summer. I want to spend more time with the kids and less time worrying about that ever growing pile of laundry or wasting time on the computer. I want to look at the world through their eyes while they still have a love for everything, even if it is just a bush. I want to see how much my kids can teach me. Everything in their world is still perfect and innocent. I want to stop and smell every flower like they still do, maybe not EVERY flower. I want to enjoy my kids. They notice that everything in this world is beautiful, even in it's imperfections, and it all has a wonderful purpose. They have all the time in the world to realize this lovliness. One day the whining and fighting will end and they will be gone and I don't want to miss out. I'm trying to make a connection, though through lack of sleep my brain has quit on me, so I don't know if it's working.

I want to look past their imperfections and take the time to enjoy them because it really doesn't last long.