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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Lesson learned

Spring break has been wasted. It began with Kaitlyn being sick. Apani, kinda got sick, but poor Maddy has the worst of it. She's been sick 6 days now. Our neighbors have been knocking on the door, daily, asking for Kaity and Abby to come out and play. They've been rejected too many times. I couldn't let a day with no rain get wasted, I couldn't refuse again. Afterall, Kaity wasn't sick anymore. But because Maddy was, I stayed in and watched from the window.

There are times in your life when for some reason or other, you're scared. Becoming a mother...is scary. At least for me. I feel as though I'm always worrying. Sometimes it's unrealistic and occasionally, it's stupid. Today was probably one of the scariest moments so far ... my heart jumped through my chest.


They weren't outside for too long before an unfamiliar car pulled up to the hydrant. The engine was kept running. I saw a hand reach to the window with a tulip. Emma, their friend, without hesitation approached the car and took the flower. Seconds later, Kaity walked over to the car!!!! I was out there so fast. I told the girls it was time to come in and they were understandably confused.

As fast as I was out there, it would not have been fast enough. I had trouble gathering my thoughts. I was so unprepared. I had no idea what to say. My mind was too busy concentrating on what could have been. How was I to explain to them how dangerous it is without terrifying them? And is a 4 year old really gonna understand?

I tried as best I could. We then did some role playing which turned into laughter and a game, so we had to stop. I think I did a good job of creating more confusion! They learned to say no to candy or other goodies, but were more than willing to go INSIDE a car to pet a puppy!

I don't know when they will fully understand, but for now when they go out to play, unless I can sit outside with them, they'll be in the back yard. Maybe they didn't learn anything, but I certainly did.

5 comments:

GR82BAMOM said...

But your street is so quiet? I can't even imagine it. I'm glad that the girls are all okay, and that you were watching them like a hawk. I guess you never can be too careful these days. God bless you, Kelly.

vdg family said...

You're nicer than me. My theory is--scare away. Then they will never go near a car (just don't make it too scary). Still, my kids love to talk to strangers (maybe cause I do). Good job keeping an eye on them!

family said...

Oh that is so scary! I agree with the scare tactic! I heard some horrible stories on Opra the other day and told some to Sammy. She started crying so was scared. But now all she talks about is how we need to be so careful. She really gets it now... I talk about these things to them all the time. It eventually sinks in. Im soooo glad you are on the ball and was watching!!!! You are a good Mommy!

RJ said...

Kelly, I lent your mom the book "Protecting the gift" you should read it like crazy, it is freaking awesome. I read so many books and went to so many trainings on child safety with my old job and this author Gavin De Becker blew my mind. He is by far the best I've ever been exposed to.

In it he gives some amazing practical advice on everything from interviewing babysitters/nannies to picking walking routes to school with you're children.

I gave it to all three of my sisters, my mom and I convinced Davey to read it. He is a critical reader and hard to please when it comes to writing and even he was deeply impressed with the ideas and how they were presented. We're always referring back to that book in our discussions on how to help Sophia and our nieces and nephews grow up safely.

The one thing I love about the book most though is that one comes away from reading about all the horrible things that can happen without feeling scared. He is not a fear monger at all, because education=safety. He doesn't try to scare you, and he actually proposes that scaring kids counterproductive. It was a totally new idea to me, and so difficult to sum up. But he spends a whole part of his book talking about how there are two types of fear, one that is unhelpful and distracts us from danger, and one that is, in my words, a gift from God, the spirit telling us that something isn't right. De Becker does an amazing job of pointing out the difference in the two and practical ways that we can focus on the helpful one. It's exactly in line with what you listed as your "lesson learned" Kelly.

I wish we could do a book club with the playgroup about this book-it seriously changed my life! We should talk about it if you read it!

Emily said...

I'm so sorry! And I'm so glad you were right there! That kind of stuff freaks me out. Was the car still there when you went outside? I would have gone postal on that person. Yikes!